Windows open and eyes closed, I lay dry fingers down on dark keys. One voice in my ear, and a little piano right behind. Lives pass on the street in a rumble of giggles and life.There’s always a destination, and these are off to a night of dark corners and sweat.
And I’m in my treehouse wondering how I feel. Just noticing that maybe something’s broken because his voice is making my brain buzz like the high pitches in subways in France that make the sensitive ears want to leave. My head feels lazy and my arms are too tired to type in this bed.
Here’s a list: There’s gentle fragility that shakes the strength in my body There’s the subthought that I never liked electric guitar There’s chipping fingernail polish There are two strings around my wrist that used to be four There are two strings around my wrist that kept holding on There are two strings around my wrist that I’m okay keeping There’s a watch I tried to get rid of but couldn’t There are cold toes in messy sheets There are messages to stop caring about There are songs you never knew but skip anyways There’s a unpuzzable heart There are hopes for a night that blow in through the window There’s the taste of apple cider posterity There are too many people There are too many people There’s cold and warm at the same time There’s wondering through the walls There’s the want to knock and whisper through the crack There’s the want to not want to There’s an appreciation for this Because when the whole day is spent thinking about other people And what they’re thinking about you A cursor on a computer page is listening And it follows every word. Dancing with your backtracks, and rushing ahead just as it gets interesting. It doesn’t mind your pauses. It gives you time with no expectation. As high heels pace sidewalks and slip through too many hugs I’m starting a love affair with this cursor tonight Because it didn’t ask for me to be here But now I’m here it can’t be anywhere else and doesn’t want to be. I can play through spacebars all night long And it lives in silence, but waits at the end of it all Just in case I want to begin again.