It hasn’t always been easy; the way you hold me has made me lose most of my hair though the years. I’m barely keeping my arm on, let alone my nose or my ear. You’ve spun me, squashed me, and loved me too hard to be reasonable. But darling, last night you made it worth it. You’d left me on the shelf for too long, but last night you took me down and you took me into your bed. Maybe you just needed someone to hold. Darling, I was so glad you chose me. I watch you clasping on to other things, people, ideas, like they’re going to give you comfort. You forget— That’s exactly what I’m here for. So come home to me and forget everything you’ve changed. Listen to the silence of my broken music box, and imagine what I might have said to you. Kiss my forehead and know you’ll never be alone. You’re still a child, darling. You’re still the only thing I care about.
I see how others look at you with morning eyes and call you beautiful. I see how others turn around and slide out the door. I see others chalking out your boundaries and placing up warning signs and hoping you won’t cross any lines. I see them ignoring the scars you love. Darling, there is no part of you too dark to see. Darling, they should be looking for the things behind your shining eyes. You forget this. But last night, with me in your arms, you fell asleep thinking to yourself. In the mazes of your mind, you ran into channels and found secrets. You opened up the filing cabinets you’ve been afraid to sort out. There I am, threaded into every note and question– The one you’ll always come home to. There I am– The one who hasn’t ever changed. There I am– The one who listens to you when you have faith and have doubt and have nothing. Those are the hardest times— the nothing times. But yet, I listen, though you feel weightless and gone and don’t realize that your arms still make me warm.
Keep me next to you, darling. Remember who you are— the girl with crooked teeth and dark hair and dirty feet and intelligence. As you fall asleep, I’ll whisper the secrets of the world into your ear and you’ll remember how perfect your face feels when it’s smiling.