Dammit, Al.

Fuck
This.
It was a gray and sideways day and I was fine
And the radio was skipping into some sort of language:
And — allegations – and — sexual —, Al…
Damn. We’re done for.

And I forgot what I’d been hoping for.
I was driving through Upstate New York and it was cold as fuck
And now Al,
Like almost everyone, has done this.
I know I claim to have some goddamn facility with language
But I’m not scripting. It’s not fine.

She and she and she and she and she aren’t fine
And she’s fighting for whatever else we all else are fighting for
But damn I didn’t think we’d too our side too would pull that sort of slippage
My side too could hurt someone too could maybe not fuck,
But hurt; are they all like this?
I thought you were a good one, Al.

I had so much faith that you weren’t broken, Al.
But somehow it makes it so much less fine
That you, too, were fine doing this
That there are women you won’t stand up for
Because we needed you standing kindly we needed you in the conversation FUCK
We needed you it’s your language.

It’s your language.
These are your letters, it’s your place after all,
And you were the one not afraid to say “Fuck,”
And call them out on all the shit that wasn’t just fine
And you were the one I was waiting for
You were the one that was supposed to stop this

But you didn’t stop this.
For all your learning, you got lost in speaking your dumb language.
That’s all you will be known for.
You let us down, Al.
In your walking of that line,
You just didn’t give enough of a fuck.

Even all this fucking garbage, Al,
And all this manhandling of language to slide behind and redefine and redefine and redefine,
I’m mad most that you now hesitate.
It’s awful, but it’s not gray.
Fuck off for fuck’s sake.

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